Spazzing Brawlers
by iChocoLove
Summary: Random spur of the moment thing. It's based on a real life brawl. :D Rated T 'cause Brawl is.


**Hey guys! –waves-**

**This is based on a brawl that my dad, two CPUs and I had. xD**

**Enjoy!**

"Alright, you're going down!" Snake grinned, complete with his assortment of heavy gear and loaded missiles.

Marth snorted. "Yea right, dream on. You've never even beat me once yet!" he replied as the four smashers were teleported to the Bridge of Eldin.

The other two, Link and Pit, merely ignored the other two's usual bickering. It was quite expected, as the two could never agree who really won.

"Ready, set, GO!" the announcer yelled, commencing the match. Immediately, Marth rushed towards Snake while the latter set off his missile, leaving the other two to shake their hands calmly, and begin to fight.

Back with our lovely argumental competitors, Marth had dodged Snake's missile gracefully, and swung at Snake. Snake, on the other hand, completely ignored Marth and rushed towards the other two. The prince turned, confused and watched as Snake drop-kicked Pit out of the stage, resulting in a kill.

Marth face palmed, and in turn, punted the spy out of the stage.

"Take that, you ugly spy!" the prince yelled. "Teach you to not steal my kills …" he muttered.

"YOW!" Something under his feet exploded, and blasted the Aritian off screen. Re-appearing on top of the stage and clearly pissed off, he screamed out at the smirking spy, "What the hell?! When'd you bury a bomb there?!"

Snake looked equally puzzled. "Dunno. I don't even remember taking out a bomb."

"The hell?" Link arched an eyebrow.

"Anyways …" Snake grinned. "It's show time!" He sent Link sailing into the air, and as the poor swordsman landed, Snake kicked him barely out of screen. He was just about to deal another KO, when Marth randomly popped up beside him, pushed him out of the way, and dealt the ending blow himself.

"You stole my kill!" Snake yelled, turning furiously onto Marth.

"So?" Marth shrugged. "You always do that – pushing people of the stage instead of using pure skill, like THIS!" he rushed towards the spy as the Falchion sparkled red.

"Hrrrah!" Snake flew off the stage, cursing all the way, while Pit stood behind them, looking rather blank.

"Sorry, Pit, but I have to win this," Marth said apologetically as he turned towards the angel. Pit took up a defensive position, and the two clashed swords. However, Pit, being younger and not nearly as strong, was pushed off by the older and was KOed.

Marth and Link faced each other. "Alright then." Marth grinned.

The two sparred, dealing damage to one another. Insert super awesome fight scene here. Snake, being the cheapo he is, sent several missiles in many directions, interrupting the swordsmen's fight several times. As the missile fell down, it seemed to die. All of the sudden, it exploded right in their faces.

"LOL AHAHAH YOU JUST GOT PWN3D. F33L MAH POW3R!" Snake roared happily. The other three just stared, and continued to fight.

To make a long story short, Link died. Completely.

Marth continued to ignore the spy, who was still on his happy rampage, and …

…played Rock, Paper, Scissors with Pit.

The two had faces of ultimate concentration, as each tried to read the other's mind. After the mind hurting, suffocating, tense, scary, atmospherically challenged in the laws of physics that could've caused a vein to be popped which would've meant someone could've died and went to heaven or something three seconds, the cobalt-haired prince dealt a rock, and the brunette gave scissors.

"HAH! Now go suicide, Pit." Marth did a happy dance on the spot.

"NOOOOES! MY ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS SKILLS!" Pit cried. Goddess Palutena appeared.

"Don't worry, Pit, I'll save you!" she cried. The sky suddenly went dark as millions of menacing, grumpy looking Centurions blotted the sun.

"Oh shit." Marth muttered.

"Ooooh, look mama! Pwetty birdies!" Snake cried, having gone completely insane. Suddenly, a crowd of these 'pretty birdies' came and attacked the spy.

"GRAH!" he cried, running around.

Our friend Marth seemed to be doing loads better then Snake. He was running around, trying to evade the Centurions. He hid behind Pit, and the mob flew straight into the angel, KOing him.

"Woah, awesome, another kill!" Suddenly, King Bulbin randomly came dancing in on a gigantic boar thing-er and ran over Snake as Marth jumped over him with ease.

"RAWR. YOU MUST FEARETH ME!" King Bublin roared, planting a bomb in the middle of the stage.

"OH CRUD!" Marth ran to the other side, just barely missing the explosion. "Oi, Snake?"

"Mhm?"

"Do you mind letting me try something? I just want to taunt. Randomly."

"Sure!" Snake called, grinning evilly. Then, the spy pulled out his missile shooter thing, and started shooting them at Marth.

"Hey, what the hell?! Watch it!" Marth yelped, leaping away from the missiles.

"I said, you are free to taunt!" Snake giggled manically as Marth was still trying to jump over the missiles. Suddenly, a smash ball came floating in, beginning its random tour around the stage.

"MINE!" Snake screamed, changing his missile's direction towards the smash ball. It hit, and Snake felt incredible energy floating in him.

"All right! Now I get to …" Snake disappeared into mid-air. "CLIMB SOME LADDERS WITH MY SUPER AWESOME MISSILE SHOOTER THINGER THAT NO ONE CAN ESCAPE FROM! WOOHOO! THIS IS LIFE!"

"Oh shit." Marth swore yet again, cursing his bad luck with smash balls, rolling and dodging the millions of bullets Snake was aiming towards him. Suddenly, Matrix style, Marth put on sunglasses, and leaned back _slowly_ …

… and got hit anyways, getting blasted off the stage.

"WOOT!" Snake cheered, trying to do a victory dance on his ladder, which is not exactly a smart move. The spy fell off and back onto the stage. "Aw man!" he whined. Marth re-appeared, floating delicately onto the stage.

"WHAT?!" Snake yelped. "You still had another life?!"

"Well, quite incredibly, yes I did. I can't believe you were too stupid to be able to tell that I still had another incredibly healthy life left, butt-head!"

"Shut your trap, tiara-moron!" Snake knelt down and fired yet another missile. Marth dodged it easily, and turned towards the spy.

"NOOO!" Snake screamed, still kneeling. "I CAN'T GET UP FOR SOME REASON! GAH! STAND, FOOL, STAND! OBEY MY COMMANDS!"

Marth twitched. "You can't even stand up? Pity." He marched up to Snake and gave him a nice, pointy stab with the Falchion.

Snake screamed, "YOW! Dude, what the hell?!" he leapt up, rubbing a sore spot on his legs. Marth snorted, folding his arms across his chest, as another smash ball appeared.

"OH YEA!" Snake charged towards it, carefully making sure not to use his missiles this time. He attacked it furiously, trying to break it open, but the smash ball was being stubborn.

Marth smirked. "You want help with that?" Marth leapt up towards it, slicing his sword through the multi-coloured ball. The smash ball broke, making the power flow into his veins. The prince glared at Snake.

"Uh oh." Snake yelped, desperately trying to jump over the glowing Marth who was ready to charge up his critical hit.

"HRAH!" Marth yelled, sliding towards Snake at a break-neck speed.

Snake let out a blood-curdling scream as a random life gauge appeared and he disappeared off into the distance.

"Yea!" the prince of Aritia swung his blade in front of himself twice and sheathed it. He waited for the familiar tug as a sign of teleportation.

Instead, Ike came running into the screen, throwing pieces of confetti around. "I fight for my friends! Woohoo!"

Marth pushed Ike out of the screen, getting a random KO for no reason. "Go away Ike, you weren't even part of this brawl."

0000000000000000000000

At the results wall, the sheet of paper that listed the kills that the four brawlers had got was posted up on the wall.

"WHAT?! I only got THREE kills?!" Snake cried, ripping the paper from the wall and staring at it intently, as if the numbers might shift themselves at any moment.

"I happened to get 10 kills," Marth said smugly. Link and Pit stayed silent, seeing as they didn't manage to get any KOs.

While Snake was trying to add up the kills with fingers and toes, Pit poked Marth's arm. "Ummm … Marth? It's not really possible to get 10 kills, 'cause that adds up to 13, and the total number of kills possible was 12."

"SHUT UP NERD!" Marth screamed, and punted Pit out. "Actually, it was right, 'cause Ike came in at the end and I KOed him. So HA!" he retorted at the disappearing figure of Pit.

Everyone stared.

"… What?"

"Nothing."

**So, how was it? xD It was written on the spur of the moment. Oo;; **

**Goddess, I suck at humour. D:**

**Me and my dad always seem to be like that. Oo;; I'd always be the winner, but he'd always steal my kills. xD Kinda. He keeps using the consecutive A attacks and punt the CPUs out of the screen so he could get more kills. D: Only works on the Bridge of Eldin though. xDD**

**Review please! :D**


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